I know that we haven’t been posting very much here. There are reasons for that. This was originally intended to be a completely anonymous blog. I will allow you to believe that our names truly are Clinton and Penelope Jonson if you wish to. This fun little sex blog has bled far too far into our personal lives to be any fun for us anymore. Last night Penny and I had a discussion that led into one of our regular reoccurring arguments in which we each failed to feel our value in the bedroom. Sadly. Beyond that we discussed this blog and we reached a decision that we will no longer post here. It’s been quite a fun ride but it’s time to move on. This is not to say that we will no longer blog but we need to start fresh. To those of you who know our true identities sincerest thanks for never outing us. Although fun it is not at all easy to talk about our most intimate moments. With the path that we’re currently on we must either come out completely or quit and we aren’t prepared to come out. If you run across our new sex blog please do enjoy and please also maintain our anonymity. Right now we do have plans for a new blog but we have yet to choose a domain name or screen names or anything else. Rest assured that we do not in any way take this decision lightly. I will miss Married Freaks but we should have guarded it with greater secrecy than we did. If we had it would be far more active than it has been recently. I want to give a big shout out to Sexy Little Ideas, Slohand, Uncommon Mure, Conina, Perverse Cowgirl, D&L, WRM, Mike & Jan, Rachael (who is more anonymous than even I car to be), Candice, Allison, and any commenters that I might have missed. I want to give a special thanks to QP who gave us the courage to kick this thing off in the first place. We both have some big ideas that we’re looking forward to that just don’t quite fit in right here. If anyone out there is interested in continuing Married Freaks in our absence please do let us know as we would be willing to sell our rights to the website. Short of that we aren’t sure what we’re going to do with the domain name or website. Thanks again,

Clinton Johnson


Is This Blog Dead?

Thank you for asking. No, it isn’t dead, but it has been terribly neglected. Hopefully we can get back to posting here soon.


Spicing Up Your Date Nights

Clint and I are big fans of date nights, but sometimes the routine can get a little mundane.  You know, farm the kids out, rent a movie, eat take-out, get nude, not necessarily in that order. Although, I do recommend farming the kids out first.  That could be awkward and potentially illegal depending on who you use as a babysitter. Also, at least have a robe handy to greet the delivery boy. Again with the illegal and potentially ego killing when the kid with the pizza runs away.

But sometimes, it’s fun to spice things up a bit.  Ever tried to do date night on Tuesday? Or maybe a sexy Sunday brunch?

Make food at home and ‘deliver’ it to the bedroom and play out your favorite tried and true porn fantasy. Play it out like one of those confessions.

One of the best ways make your night unique is to try out some fun lube or toys from Adam & Eve.  That can certainly make it more successful when you try out that new position. And don’t be intimidated by the selection of things out there.  Start with something simple and experiment.  You may find new pleasures you didn’t know were available.

Make the effort.  Try something new.  Take dance lessons together because nothing makes intimate time better than being emotionally closer and more connected.  Dancing not your thing? Go rock climbing, check out a museum.  The new adventures will only serve to strengthen the bond between you.

*This post is brought to you by Adam & Eve. All thoughts and opinions belong to the author.”


A Teaser

The alarm buzzes in the morning darkness, but it’s not what wakes me.  No, my senses are brought to life by strong hands caressing my body. Expertly tracing the familiar lines of my hips. Warm, gentle kisses on the back of my neck send tingles down my spine.  He pulls me close as he has for so many mornings, and we make love before sunrise. I feel the power of his body as he spoons mine.  I grasp at our sheets as he enters me. Again and again.

The coffee people are wrong about the best part of waking up.


Virginal Play

This weekend I bought Penny some plain white panties. She usually wears flashy thongs or boy shorts – the kind of panties that speak for themselves. I love her usual fare but I wanted her to have something simpler for a different kind of occasion. We wanted to be able to explore each others’ bodies for the very first time even after all the years and their associated experiences – which is hard to accomplish with the more colorful and elaborate kind of underwear she wears regularly. We have needed a safe place to start from. We were both a little scared. Everyone has a past and there can be a lot of pain in the history. Yesterday she wore the plain white panties and last night we played.

We were a young couple that were supposed to meet friends for a movie but we blew them off. Instead we started making out and one thing led to another. Kisses gave way to petting. Clothing came off. Petting got heavier. By the time those white panties came off, they were soaked with her juices. It was so incredibly hot! Over the years together we have had a lot of sex in a lot of different ways. What we had last night was new. It doesn’t replace or negate anything that we’ve shared in the past. But it was special. We shared a body-shaking orgasm that likely rattled the neighbors’ windows and dishes and measured as a needle blip on some seismograph somewhere. We had to clean the couch afterwards because we sprayed it. I was utterly spent which is unusual as I’m usually good for a few rounds.

This isn’t something that I’d really want to do everyday. Frankly it’s not really compatible with our regular lifestyle. But I do want to revisit it. It was simply too wonderful to not. Despite our fears we didn’t trip over any emotional baggage during this experience. Penny confessed to me after the fact that she felt like she was just being herself instead of playing a role as we often do. I think that made a difference too. I felt true to myself during the whole play as well. At this point I’m not sure exactly what I originally had in mind but last night far exceeded my expectations. It was something that I for one have needed for a while. It seemed to do Penny some good as well. The white panties aren’t an absolute necessity for this sort of thing but I’m not sure our experience would have really been possible without them. This may have not been the best time to write about it though. Just thinking about it is making me horny!


Being A Freak Is So Much Fun.

It’s no secret that Penny and I like to try new things from time to time. Some time back after we had intercourse she dropped to her knees and licked and sucked my member clean. Wow. I mean wow. I did NOT see that coming. As I recall it put me right back into action when she pulled this stunt and we went for a round 2. She hasn’t done this very often but has repeated this behavior from time to time and I love it!

One time after she’d done this she said that she’d like for me to return the favor or at least try to. Although I really enjoyed her doing this the thought of me doing it back seemed kind of gross to me. Don’t get me wrong I’ve eaten her out many many times. That doesn’t bother me. It was the thought of eating my own semen out of her that got to me. Even so I didn’t want to be insensitive or unaccommodating. So I told her that I wasn’t going to do it that time but I’d be screwing (heh) up my courage to try it soon. When I finally did try it I thought I was going to be sick. I’m not sure what it was about the experience but something about the combination of consistency and flavor made my stomach turned a little. Still I at least tried right?

The last entry on this website posted over a shameful month ago and authored by my bride reveals that we’ve made it a habit to start our morning with a little sexual activity. Yesterday morning I was working her over in the spoons position and just wasn’t getting quite the penetration I wanted. Additionally from Penny’s cues I felt that if I could get a little better penetration she’d get a bigger orgasm. So I pulled out and rolled her on her back. In the dim light in our bedroom I gazed at her wet and glistening pussy and it looked so delicious that I had to lick it. Judging from her reaction that was a good move. After only a few minutes I scaled my way back up into the missionary position and we finished up with mutual moans. I thought about that all day. So last night we started getting flirty and off came the clothing. And we made love. And then I went down.

Penny asked incredulously “Really?”

I answered with an “Mmm hmm” and a lick to her stimulated and thus super sensitive loins.

I don’t know if she had subsequent orgasm but she did breathe funny and seemed to enjoy it to some degree anyway. And I didn’t feel bad in any sense. It was fun. In fact it was so much dirty fun that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. There is a slightly wet spot in my underwear because of my nasty brain. I’ve been doing my best to not be completely useless at work but I could have seriously called in today so Penny and I could just make a marathon of it. Oh well. Since the kids are gone for spring break maybe we’ll get an early start after work.


A Suggestion, for Valentine’s Day and Every Day

Doesn’t everyone want more intimacy in their relationship? Both physical and emotional?

I have a suggestion for you.  Incorporate morning sex into your daily routine.  You don’t have to get fancy about it.  I don’t know about you, but I am not getting up extra early to break out toys and costumes.

In fact, don’t get fancy about it. You want it to become a new habit.  The alarm goes off, and you snuggle up to your sweetie.  Soon, you’ll realize your bit of morning sex has become more important than your shower or coffee in getting your day going. And it makes you hate the sound of the alarm a whole lot less.

And by starting each day with physical intimacy, you’ll default to feeling more emotionally intimate too.  And then you can brag to your friends that you have sex a minimum of seven times a week.


Public Service Announcement

We here at Married Freaks are big fans of you getting your freak on.  Sometimes, there are even appropriate times and places to let the freak out. Fly your freak flag proudly, even.

It is not okay to inflict your freak on others.  Here’s a simple guide.

electric blue crotch-less panties=good

surprise modeling your electric blue crotch-less panties to the clerk at the maternity store=bad


An Open Letter to the Ex

Dear Gertrude,

You really creeped me out when you sent me that friend request on MyFace. I mean we had cruised along for ten peaceful years of me not hearing anything from you and then you tried to contact me out of the blue like that. What the crap? I didn’t want to hear from you. You know all those times you bumped into my friends and asked them to have me call you and then I didn’t? Those weren’t an accident. My friends didn’t forget to deliver your message. I was perfectly happy not talking to you and that’s why I didn’t call. You ever wonder why you never bumped into me? It’s because when I saw you out and about I avoided your ass! I was always more observant than you and I can make sure you never see me again even by coincidence. Just in case you forgot the order of events you broke up with me and then I wouldn’t have you back when you came crawling back. That was deliberate. I rejected you on purpose and I stand by the decision.

Then I saw your wedding announcement and then the pics. Alright. I get it. You aren’t trying to rekindle anything with me – you’re trying to clean your slate. Why we as humans feel the need to clear out our closets when we enter into permanent relationship status is anybody’s guess. Each of us has this stupid need to burn all the bridges – to eliminate all of the options. It’s as though we think that will strengthen the young commitment. Well you know what? I wasn’t available to you anyway. I wasn’t an option for you. Even if I didn’t have Penelope all this time, I wouldn’t take you back. I wouldn’t piss on you with a stolen dick if you were the last woman on earth with a bag over your head. It’s not an accident that we aren’t together and I don’t appreciate you acting otherwise.

But seriously. He looks like a nice man. I hope for his sake that he’s either a spineless pussy that doesn’t mind you pushing him around or that he’s an overbearing asshole that won’t put up with your shit. From your pics the two of you obviously make more money than Penny and I. Congratulations. Your parents must be so proud. You’ve got all the shit you ever wanted. That’s exactly why we couldn’t be together anymore. Shit is more important to you than people. And pleasing your parents was always your top priority. Do you know what I have that you could never give me? Do you know what I have that you can never attain? Penelope. You can’t even imagine the crazy kind of stuff that we do together simply because we like spending time together. You have your career and Mr. Wonderful has his career and you’ll never do half the crazy shit that Penny and I do. And I’m not talking about bedroom stuff either although I’d bet the assertion still applies.

No. Unless you’ve changed a lot your priorities are to keep working so you can buy stuff. You’ll never be happy that way. You wouldn’t take my advise when we were together so I know you won’t take it now. But I’m going to offer it anyway. You two need to work the same schedule. Don’t work any more than 40 hours a week. Even less is better. It may lead to less money but you don’t need a whole bunch of shit to be happy. You should always be on his side and vice versa. Have hobbies in common. Never treat him like he’s a child. Treat him as an equal. Accept no different from him. Make sure you are his greatest ally against all else and his closest friend. In other words he needs to be your top priority and you need to be his. Have babies together but never put them ahead of each other. Have your love at the expense of your career if necessary.

But unless you’ve changed a lot it’s not going to happen. Like the leopard’s spots I don’t think you’re capable of it. I hope for your sake and his that I’m wrong about that. Oh and – about burning bridges, this is how you do it. Then again you always were the noncommittal type. Anyway congratulations on your marriage. I give it five years tops. Don’t come crying to me when it falls apart on you. Don’t make me break up with you yet again. This shit gets old.

Never yours,

Clint J.


I’m Getting Fucking For Christmas

I put my lips on Clinton’s cock

Somebody cummed in me

I wrapped my legs round husband’s neck

Somebody cummed in me

He spilled some seed in mommy’s cunt

Stuck a toy in hubby’s butt

Dressed up like a nice cheap slut

Somebody cummed in me


I’m getting fucking for Christmas

Mommy and Daddy get laid

I’m getting fucking for Christmas

Cause this girl is nothing but bad