Married Freaks

This weekend I bought Penny some plain white panties. She usually wears flashy thongs or boy shorts – the kind of panties that speak for themselves. I love her usual fare but I wanted her to have something simpler for a different kind of occasion. We wanted to be able to explore each others’ bodies for the very first time even after all the years and their associated experiences – which is hard to accomplish with the more colorful and elaborate kind of underwear she wears regularly. We have needed a safe place to start from. We were both a little scared. Everyone has a past and there can be a lot of pain in the history. Yesterday she wore the plain white panties and last night we played.

We were a young couple that were supposed to meet friends for a movie but we blew them off. Instead we started making out and one thing led to another. Kisses gave way to petting. Clothing came off. Petting got heavier. By the time those white panties came off, they were soaked with her juices. It was so incredibly hot! Over the years together we have had a lot of sex in a lot of different ways. What we had last night was new. It doesn’t replace or negate anything that we’ve shared in the past. But it was special. We shared a body-shaking orgasm that likely rattled the neighbors’ windows and dishes and measured as a needle blip on some seismograph somewhere. We had to clean the couch afterwards because we sprayed it. I was utterly spent which is unusual as I’m usually good for a few rounds.

This isn’t something that I’d really want to do everyday. Frankly it’s not really compatible with our regular lifestyle. But I do want to revisit it. It was simply too wonderful to not. Despite our fears we didn’t trip over any emotional baggage during this experience. Penny confessed to me after the fact that she felt like she was just being herself instead of playing a role as we often do. I think that made a difference too. I felt true to myself during the whole play as well. At this point I’m not sure exactly what I originally had in mind but last night far exceeded my expectations. It was something that I for one have needed for a while. It seemed to do Penny some good as well. The white panties aren’t an absolute necessity for this sort of thing but I’m not sure our experience would have really been possible without them. This may have not been the best time to write about it though. Just thinking about it is making me horny!

It’s no secret that I have a bit of an anal fetish. I’m feeling way too lazy to read my archives but I swear I have touched on it on this blog even. I like some anal play. Before Penny would actually let me try anal sex with her I offhandedly told her that if she let me she could get a strap on and do it back to me. Of course we laughed about it and it never happened. She has tried anal intercourse with me several times and hasn’t really gotten anything out of it in the best case scenario. In the worst she finds it incredibly painful.

Penny has been more adventurous with all kinds of play recently. In February I confessed on Quizzical Pussy that once during oral play Penny asked me to shove a vibrator in her ass and fuck her pussy hard. I happily complied and it was wonderful for both of us. Feeling the buzzing from the vibrator through the tissue between her anus and vagina was incredibly stimulating to me. Additionally there haven’t been too many occasions that I’ve seen that girl cum so hard. And that’s really saying something because she has a lot of good orgasms!

Fast forward to now. Penny has remarked several times in passing recently that she wants to get a strap on so she can fuck me. The first time she did I thought she was teasing but as she repeats it she’s starting to make me think that she actually means it. I hadn’t seriously thought about doing something like that. I am so repulsed by other men that I could never see getting in the same recreational bed with one but a hot chick with a strap on is a different story altogether. In all honesty the idea sounds kind of exciting. Getting anally pounded by my sexy wife and her plastic friend? Yeah. Kind of hot.

If we do buy a strap on I imagine we’ll want to make sure to have some options on the dong itself. Also I may push for a harness that I could also wear and hit her with some DP action. Not that she would necessarily be into that but I’d like to keep the options open. The biggest problem I can see is that those things are expensive! I’ve seen quite a few cheaper ones but it seems that you get what you pay for on some things. I’d just hate to put down the money on one and then find that we weren’t really that into it. Anybody have any suggestions?

About sex and role playing after dinner.

Yes, you read that right.  I was chatting with my mother-in-law about sex and role playing.  And faking it.

No, I didn’t tell Clint’s mother that I sometimes put on a maid’s outfit and pretend he’s the hot pool boy that just needed to come in for some water…  Nor did I tell her the dirty, dirty things I like to do with her first born.

Mmm.

Oh wait, where was I?

Role playing and faking it, right.

Is is okay to fake it?

The subject came up because we were discussing a disparity of libido between some men and women.  And the question came  up about whether or not it is okay to fake it.  Personally, I think that depends on what exactly you are faking.  Faking an interest when you aren’t necessarily in the mood even though you know once you get into it you are going to have a great time, totally okay*.  Encouraged even.  Faking the orgasm?  Honey, you’re just shorting yourself in the end.  For one, a healthy sexual relationship should be honest.  And really, do you want to reinforce activities that don’t make you climax?  If you’re screaming out ‘Oh Baby!’ when you are really thinking ‘Are you done yet?’, your partner is never going to learn how to give you those earth moving sloppy wet body tingling orgasms.  And if you aren’t having those every time, it’s okay.  It doesn’t mean that either of you are doing anything wrong.

Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out.  And just because he gets another erection right after your last earth shattering orgasm, doesn’t mean he’s ready for a repeat act.  Don’t let that stop you from trying.  But don’t beat yourself about it if it doesn’t.  If he’s spent, he’s spent.  You too.

I can remember early on when I would take it as a personal blow to my sexual prowess if Clint didn’t cum each and every time we had intercourse.  Really, I should have taken it as a compliment that I’d satisfied him so completely in the previous round.  And although a good man will always be trying to trigger orgasm for his woman, the female orgasm can be a harsh mistress.  If you’re both enjoying the attention of the other, you’re going to be just fine.  Explore and figure it out.  That’s the fun part.  And no one can tell you how to do it.  Sure, you can get advice.  But one of the great things about sex is the uniqueness.  And trust me, when you find that right rhythm, the special unique thing, it will rock your world.

Real orgasms are great.  Don’t cheat yourself out of them.

Is role playing really okay?

Yes!  Absolutely.  If you are doing it right.  When I slip into my maid costume and Clint plays the pool boy, we get to explore some fantasy land.  And in the act of playing a character, sometimes you can be free to try things that you might not otherwise.  In some ways, pretending can make you be more authentic.

But it is possible to run into problems.  When I’m pretending Clint is the pool boy, I’m imagining him as a fantasy construct.  I am not imagining the guy that shows up to clean Mrs. Smith’s pool every third Tuesday.  Although I am pretending that Clint is someone else, I’m not pretending he is a real someone else.  That way, he’s still Clint.  I’m still having sex with Clint, mind and body.  The pool boy is just a thin veil of make believe.

If I were envisioning him as a real someone else, I could be tempting the fickle waters of infidelity.  Obviously, there would be no physical cheating in that situation, but it can cause cracks your emotional intimacy.  Personally, I believe the emotional intimacy of a marriage is the most precious thing.  There are completely monogamous couples that don’t have it and there are swingers that do, I’m not here to judge however you choose to do it.

You can have sex without intimacy, but intimacy is essential for a relationship.

*I am assuming you are physically healthy and there are no relationship issues that need to be dealt with.

One of our favorite role playing games is maid and ____. We found a super cute maid’s outfit at a local discount store and our imaginations ran wild. Generally, we play maid and other household help. Clint is often the pool boy.

We decided to change it up. I put on my little outfit and he was a business associate arriving at my employer’s estate a day earlier than he was actually scheduled. Not intentionally, of course. Totally due to a communication fiasco. I happened to be working a late night and was planning to spend the night anyway. Especially since my employer was still in France.

Obviously, I needed to make up a guest room and keep my boss’s business associate comfortable…

Use your imagination to fill in the rest. And please, tell me about it in comments. I will always protect your privacy.

The reason that we as people are so fascinated by porn is that we like to escape reality into fantasy one in a while.  This is seriously the only reason I can think that anybody actually likes porn.  Unless I’ve just seen bad porn, they only really stick to one or two formulas and they fill in all the details with the same stuff over and over and over again.  And while on-screen sex can be a novel diversion, it wears thin very quickly.  To that end, I don’t understand why people have collections of the stuff or why people get addicted to it.  The actors and models are plucked and stuffed and sucked and tanned and oiled, and that all takes place before they get in front of the camera.  I don’t find them attractive.  The scenarios are uncreative and the sex is canned at best.  They bend over backwards to cover all the bases to appeal to the widest possible demographic, and lose much of what makes it interesting in the process.  In all fairness, as a personality type I’m less a watcher and more of a doer – in bed, in competition, sports, art, etc.  And yes, all above puns are fully intentional.

This is why I like fantasy role playing.  I find that Penny and I are far more creative, sexy, and attractive than anything we’ve seen on screen, even on our least ‘into it’ days.  I see no problem with a married couple getting lost in a fantasy for a little while.  Heck, I’d highly recommend and encourage it!  There’s nothing quite like pretending that my wife is some unknown stranger and that I’m a different guy who comes into her life in an odd circumstance.  I love it when I say to Penny, “Why don’t you go put on that little thing and we’ll pretend that you’re a such-and-such and I’m this guy and we meet in this random setting.”  It’s like a sexy game of charades where we both win in the end with an intense, wet orgasm.  It’s hard to fathom a better prize.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy Penelope for who she is – quite the opposite in fact.  I very much get off on seeing the direction that she takes a character.  I don’t think it would be nearly as fun for me if she was anybody else.  I know her well enough at this point that I can usually guess the general direction that she’s going to go, but only to a certain point.  She quite often surprises me with the details.  The predictability is sexy because it’s not monotonous, but is a reminder of the chemistry I still have with her.  Every once in a while, she goes way out in left field, and that’s hot too.  It reminds me that she is not tame, and even after so many years together, I still can only know her so well.  Fantasy role playing pulls you out of the routine of daily life, out of your comfort zone, and reminds you that your spouse is a wild, sexy mystery.  I can think of little else that is more healthy for an aging couple.

If you have never tried role playing with your spouse, you should.  Sexy costumes can be fun, but they aren’t necessary.  Don’t be afraid to make it dirty – it’s a fantasy after all.  Don’t feel like you have to get too far out of your comfort zone in order for it to ‘count’ though.  You can start at home or elsewhere.  It’s probably best to discuss the general scenario with your spouse prior to play, and lay down any boundaries you don’t want to cross.  Playing the maid and another house employee at a wealthy estate may seem contrived, but it makes for some very sexy adventures.  Acting as though you are two strangers that unwittingly got locked into a room together or trapped in a resort cabin covered in snow plays out for some exciting warmth generation (you know, for the sake of survival and all).  Something that the two of us have talked about but not actually tried is for one of us to ‘pick up’ the other at a bar.  As in literally, arrive at a bar separately and leave together as imaginary strangers for a night of passion.  That sounds like a lot of fun.  Pretend that you are two superheros that have picked the same stake-out point to nab a villain and your ensuing scuffle for turf turns passionate.  I know that last one seems just silly, but think about it.  It could be fun.  Of course, these are just a few suggestions.

The imagination truly is the only limit.  And, I believe that the average sexual partner is far more creative than the people who write, direct, and act in porn.  I know that Penny and I are!  Plus, it’s a great opportunity to experiment with methods and techniques that you might normally not feel comfortable trying.  When you are role playing you aren’t you after all!  I would add a caution to not make your characters after real life individuals.  Be generally someone else instead of someone else specifically.  It pushes the creativity envelope without risking feelings of jealousy.  Pick fictional names and make up a simple back story, either before hand or on the fly.  Above all, have fun with it.  If you try it a few times and it doesn’t work right, maybe it’s not for you.  Hey, porn is a multi-billion dollar industry, and I started this post by saying that it’s pointless!