Married Freaks

I have pretty much always enjoyed giving cunnilingus. I find a vulva to be so kissable and lickable and pretty much irresistible to my mouth. It’s been something of an obsession actually. For a long time Penny was ho-hum about getting head at the best. I don’t think even she knows why it just didn’t do much for her. She would profess to enjoy it but it was clear that it was strictly foreplay to her.

Then one day a couple of years ago it was as if a switch was turned on in her head and suddenly she REALLY LIKED having her pussy eaten. I have only managed to give her the Big O a couple of times this way but have had her softly moaning and whimpering far more often under my tongue. In thinking about it I think it was a couple of factors that made the difference. At our age people tend to start dealing with baggage that we’ve neglected for a long time. She was able to work through some stuff that had her quite inhibited in bed. And I think my skills improved around the same time. I’m not going to claim to be an expert pussy licker or anything but I have refined my technique quite a bit based on her feedback – both verbal (note I didn’t say ‘oral’) and involuntary.

I really like to take my time and bring her to squirming crying Grand Mal Orgasm without using my dick. It feels like a real accomplishment to work someone over and deliberately and meticulously bring them that kind of pleasure. And then I fuck her. Autocunnilingus is one of my favorite fantasy concepts. I have no delusions that Penny will ever get so stretchy and bendy that she can lick her own pussy while I watch but I can dream. And the mental imagery makes me very horny.

Needless to say the pressures of everyday life keep us from these things all too often. Most of the time we settle for quickies because we haven’t properly budgeted our schedule. I need to practice what I preach and make time for sex. It’s entirely too easy to slip and let the circumstances call the shots. But the simple act of writing this down has me a little hot under the collar. I have a feeling that I know exactly what I’ll be doing tonight.

It’s no secret that I have a bit of an anal fetish. I’m feeling way too lazy to read my archives but I swear I have touched on it on this blog even. I like some anal play. Before Penny would actually let me try anal sex with her I offhandedly told her that if she let me she could get a strap on and do it back to me. Of course we laughed about it and it never happened. She has tried anal intercourse with me several times and hasn’t really gotten anything out of it in the best case scenario. In the worst she finds it incredibly painful.

Penny has been more adventurous with all kinds of play recently. In February I confessed on Quizzical Pussy that once during oral play Penny asked me to shove a vibrator in her ass and fuck her pussy hard. I happily complied and it was wonderful for both of us. Feeling the buzzing from the vibrator through the tissue between her anus and vagina was incredibly stimulating to me. Additionally there haven’t been too many occasions that I’ve seen that girl cum so hard. And that’s really saying something because she has a lot of good orgasms!

Fast forward to now. Penny has remarked several times in passing recently that she wants to get a strap on so she can fuck me. The first time she did I thought she was teasing but as she repeats it she’s starting to make me think that she actually means it. I hadn’t seriously thought about doing something like that. I am so repulsed by other men that I could never see getting in the same recreational bed with one but a hot chick with a strap on is a different story altogether. In all honesty the idea sounds kind of exciting. Getting anally pounded by my sexy wife and her plastic friend? Yeah. Kind of hot.

If we do buy a strap on I imagine we’ll want to make sure to have some options on the dong itself. Also I may push for a harness that I could also wear and hit her with some DP action. Not that she would necessarily be into that but I’d like to keep the options open. The biggest problem I can see is that those things are expensive! I’ve seen quite a few cheaper ones but it seems that you get what you pay for on some things. I’d just hate to put down the money on one and then find that we weren’t really that into it. Anybody have any suggestions?

We’ve got new toys coming today!  Bedtime cannot get here soon enough.

When Clint and I first got married we were excited for all the new adventures and exploration of each other. We got a few catalogs (can’t remember which) and ordered some toys. We had no idea what we were doing or where to go for help.  And they came with complimentary porn*.

I became intimidated and freaked out by them.  So into a drawer they went.

Let me explain.  As the new wife, I wanted to be sexually perfect for my new husband.  If we needed toys or porn to get everything going, then I just new I was a horrible failure.  And that’s not even getting into the most offensive thing ever (at the time) LUBE!

I had plenty of that pouring out naturally thank you very much.

Oh poor naive newlywed Penny.

Granted, if we needed any of those extra things, there might be some kind of issue.  But toys are fun and a twist in your sexual routine.  They aren’t about need.  And using one on your partner requires a new level of trust.

And lube.  Yeah, there’s LOTS of that naturally, but everyone can run low at times for a variety of reasons.  Marathon sessions and stress come to mind…  It is no bash against your womanhood.  Nor is it a bash against his manhood if he can’t get your juices flowing.  Is your mind turned on?  Great.  Think of the lube as starter fluid then.  Neither of you will be happy going for it dry.

And I hear that they even make some lubes that warm up and tingle and other wonderful things.  We haven’t tried any of those things yet, but we’d be willing.  (contact me if you are interested in having us test something.)

So we’ve reopened the fun drawer and are becoming reacquainted with treasures inside.  And they are fun.  It’s not intimidating to play with them.  In fact, if your partner wants to play with toys with you, it is probably because they trust you enough to get out of the vanilla.  And also because they believe you are a wonderful sexual creature that they want to share new and exciting adventures with.

Wondering where to start?  Try one of the glass ones.  They are easy to sterilize (you can throw it in the dishwasher and embarrass your mother when she gets too helpful in the kitchen).  You can use any kind of lube, but it’s not necessarily required.  No batteries and lots of options.  Try chilling it sometime.

*The free porn is not good porn.  You have the internet, find what turns you on.  I’m partial to Hentai.