Married Freaks

The alarm buzzes in the morning darkness, but it’s not what wakes me.  No, my senses are brought to life by strong hands caressing my body. Expertly tracing the familiar lines of my hips. Warm, gentle kisses on the back of my neck send tingles down my spine.  He pulls me close as he has for so many mornings, and we make love before sunrise. I feel the power of his body as he spoons mine.  I grasp at our sheets as he enters me. Again and again.

The coffee people are wrong about the best part of waking up.

This weekend I bought Penny some plain white panties. She usually wears flashy thongs or boy shorts – the kind of panties that speak for themselves. I love her usual fare but I wanted her to have something simpler for a different kind of occasion. We wanted to be able to explore each others’ bodies for the very first time even after all the years and their associated experiences – which is hard to accomplish with the more colorful and elaborate kind of underwear she wears regularly. We have needed a safe place to start from. We were both a little scared. Everyone has a past and there can be a lot of pain in the history. Yesterday she wore the plain white panties and last night we played.

We were a young couple that were supposed to meet friends for a movie but we blew them off. Instead we started making out and one thing led to another. Kisses gave way to petting. Clothing came off. Petting got heavier. By the time those white panties came off, they were soaked with her juices. It was so incredibly hot! Over the years together we have had a lot of sex in a lot of different ways. What we had last night was new. It doesn’t replace or negate anything that we’ve shared in the past. But it was special. We shared a body-shaking orgasm that likely rattled the neighbors’ windows and dishes and measured as a needle blip on some seismograph somewhere. We had to clean the couch afterwards because we sprayed it. I was utterly spent which is unusual as I’m usually good for a few rounds.

This isn’t something that I’d really want to do everyday. Frankly it’s not really compatible with our regular lifestyle. But I do want to revisit it. It was simply too wonderful to not. Despite our fears we didn’t trip over any emotional baggage during this experience. Penny confessed to me after the fact that she felt like she was just being herself instead of playing a role as we often do. I think that made a difference too. I felt true to myself during the whole play as well. At this point I’m not sure exactly what I originally had in mind but last night far exceeded my expectations. It was something that I for one have needed for a while. It seemed to do Penny some good as well. The white panties aren’t an absolute necessity for this sort of thing but I’m not sure our experience would have really been possible without them. This may have not been the best time to write about it though. Just thinking about it is making me horny!

It’s no secret that Penny and I like to try new things from time to time. Some time back after we had intercourse she dropped to her knees and licked and sucked my member clean. Wow. I mean wow. I did NOT see that coming. As I recall it put me right back into action when she pulled this stunt and we went for a round 2. She hasn’t done this very often but has repeated this behavior from time to time and I love it!

One time after she’d done this she said that she’d like for me to return the favor or at least try to. Although I really enjoyed her doing this the thought of me doing it back seemed kind of gross to me. Don’t get me wrong I’ve eaten her out many many times. That doesn’t bother me. It was the thought of eating my own semen out of her that got to me. Even so I didn’t want to be insensitive or unaccommodating. So I told her that I wasn’t going to do it that time but I’d be screwing (heh) up my courage to try it soon. When I finally did try it I thought I was going to be sick. I’m not sure what it was about the experience but something about the combination of consistency and flavor made my stomach turned a little. Still I at least tried right?

The last entry on this website posted over a shameful month ago and authored by my bride reveals that we’ve made it a habit to start our morning with a little sexual activity. Yesterday morning I was working her over in the spoons position and just wasn’t getting quite the penetration I wanted. Additionally from Penny’s cues I felt that if I could get a little better penetration she’d get a bigger orgasm. So I pulled out and rolled her on her back. In the dim light in our bedroom I gazed at her wet and glistening pussy and it looked so delicious that I had to lick it. Judging from her reaction that was a good move. After only a few minutes I scaled my way back up into the missionary position and we finished up with mutual moans. I thought about that all day. So last night we started getting flirty and off came the clothing. And we made love. And then I went down.

Penny asked incredulously “Really?”

I answered with an “Mmm hmm” and a lick to her stimulated and thus super sensitive loins.

I don’t know if she had subsequent orgasm but she did breathe funny and seemed to enjoy it to some degree anyway. And I didn’t feel bad in any sense. It was fun. In fact it was so much dirty fun that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. There is a slightly wet spot in my underwear because of my nasty brain. I’ve been doing my best to not be completely useless at work but I could have seriously called in today so Penny and I could just make a marathon of it. Oh well. Since the kids are gone for spring break maybe we’ll get an early start after work.

Doesn’t everyone want more intimacy in their relationship? Both physical and emotional?

I have a suggestion for you.  Incorporate morning sex into your daily routine.  You don’t have to get fancy about it.  I don’t know about you, but I am not getting up extra early to break out toys and costumes.

In fact, don’t get fancy about it. You want it to become a new habit.  The alarm goes off, and you snuggle up to your sweetie.  Soon, you’ll realize your bit of morning sex has become more important than your shower or coffee in getting your day going. And it makes you hate the sound of the alarm a whole lot less.

And by starting each day with physical intimacy, you’ll default to feeling more emotionally intimate too.  And then you can brag to your friends that you have sex a minimum of seven times a week.

It’s true. Last night, I was awake at 3:30AM for no good reason.

Not that I’m disappointed in any opportunity to trace the muscles on a naked, sleeping Clint. He didn’t seem to think there was no good reason to be awakened either

Can’t sleep, may as well fuck, right? Couldn’t let those dark hours go to waste after all.

Besides, I always sleep better after a nice solid pounding, don’t you?

Firstly there’s nothing wrong with Penny and my love life. I’m still constantly looking for ways to spice it up anyway. I don’t think you can have a love life that’s too spicy. Making sure my boss wasn’t looking over my shoulder I did a quick Google search to see if I could find some fun new positions. Does that make me a complete dork of a horn-dog? Anyways I wound up on this website that has animated demos of 106 different sexual positions. The animations are crude. Well obviously but not like that. Suffice it to say that if porn makes you squeamish this isn’t likely to push your discomfort buttons. The little animated fuckers are cute enough but they aren’t incredibly lifelike. Some of the positions are a little redundant but they’re nice enough to reference the illustrated variations in the description text. Even my abstinent friends would probably enjoy the playful and sometimes witty blurbs that introduce each position. They are grouped into categories and can be searched by thusly. I wonder if Penny is flexible enough to try this even if only for a minute because it looks like fun! We’ve had a lot of fun in positions similar to this or this and I could see exploring a little more in that direction. I don’t think we’ve ever tried anything quite like this but color me intrigued! Lastly this just looks hot and I’m going to have to try it. If it feels half as good as it looks I’ll be happy. The website has a lot of features that I haven’t explored like an advice column and a forum. I just thought the sex positions were so cool I had to share.

I just posted the “To Be Taken Orally” entry moments ago and then realized that it was only the fourth entry that we’ve published here since April. I’m sorry. I knew very well that we had let time get away from us and had not kept up with the blog very well but I had no idea that it had been so dead for so long. I really don’t know how all of you bloggers do it! I will try my hardest to do better in the future. And I’ll poke Penny with a fork and make her post something. Perhaps she could live blog while I plug her or something. That could be fun but don’t be shocked if a lot of the content comes out like “iowin;IVCOipfew?[,ncdh;OLIWoIEHF”.

Additionally I’d like to point out a feature that Penny installed on our little website. In the tab bar above this text right next to Home and About Us you will see a tab labeled Ask Us Anything. Here you will find a simple contact form that prompts you to ask a question. Any question. You may give a name (real or fake) or you may submit a question in complete anonymity. Often times we don’t write because we can’t think of anything to write about. So this is a shameless plea for reader supplied content. Is that lame? I think that it could lead to some really fun discussions. You may ask us anything you want but I’d like to see some awkward and probing questions. Go ahead and challenge us! I won’t guarantee that we’ll answer all the questions but I have a feeling that we’ll be answering quite a few of them.

I have pretty much always enjoyed giving cunnilingus. I find a vulva to be so kissable and lickable and pretty much irresistible to my mouth. It’s been something of an obsession actually. For a long time Penny was ho-hum about getting head at the best. I don’t think even she knows why it just didn’t do much for her. She would profess to enjoy it but it was clear that it was strictly foreplay to her.

Then one day a couple of years ago it was as if a switch was turned on in her head and suddenly she REALLY LIKED having her pussy eaten. I have only managed to give her the Big O a couple of times this way but have had her softly moaning and whimpering far more often under my tongue. In thinking about it I think it was a couple of factors that made the difference. At our age people tend to start dealing with baggage that we’ve neglected for a long time. She was able to work through some stuff that had her quite inhibited in bed. And I think my skills improved around the same time. I’m not going to claim to be an expert pussy licker or anything but I have refined my technique quite a bit based on her feedback – both verbal (note I didn’t say ‘oral’) and involuntary.

I really like to take my time and bring her to squirming crying Grand Mal Orgasm without using my dick. It feels like a real accomplishment to work someone over and deliberately and meticulously bring them that kind of pleasure. And then I fuck her. Autocunnilingus is one of my favorite fantasy concepts. I have no delusions that Penny will ever get so stretchy and bendy that she can lick her own pussy while I watch but I can dream. And the mental imagery makes me very horny.

Needless to say the pressures of everyday life keep us from these things all too often. Most of the time we settle for quickies because we haven’t properly budgeted our schedule. I need to practice what I preach and make time for sex. It’s entirely too easy to slip and let the circumstances call the shots. But the simple act of writing this down has me a little hot under the collar. I have a feeling that I know exactly what I’ll be doing tonight.

Quizzical Pussy posted this excellent entry where she calls out Erik Holland who is something of a troll. Yes on his website (which I won’t honor with a direct link here) he does start to make some solid points about skeletal structure body types and generalizations of masculine and feminine forms. And then he goes way overboard with it. I liken it much to how Sigmund Freud made some excellent and even ground breaking realizations about how the human brain works. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand then he went and said that we all want to fuck our parents. Sig. Can I call you Sig? How long have you felt this way?

I find it interesting and outright weird that body types can be fashionable. From the well-fed women in the frescoes of the Renaissance to Twiggy and beyond, nobody can deny the fact that these things run in trends. I find it far easier to accept that different people like different things. I like flat-chested women. I always have. In junior high when the other thirteen-year-old boys discovered BEWBIES I was simply unimpressed. My eyes were drawn to the girls that had hips and shapely legs. I’ve actually gotten confessions from other men with the same tastes in women. Anything more than a mouthful is a waste after all.

However I have to come to the conclusion that thirteen-year-old me was seeing the same thing as those other boys although through different features – the likelihood of healthy reproduction. On a reptilian level they saw the breasts as a sign that those girls would be able to feed the babies. On the same level I saw the hips for their birthing capabilities and the legs as a survival tool. Since we live in an organized civilization instead of the wild these attractions are not only vestigial they have been reduced to pure aesthetics. I know full well that a flat-chested woman can breast feed perfectly well and she won’t have to fight those things all her life. The other boys? Maybe they never bothered to look down any further than chest level because of the obsession. I really have no idea there.

One way or another as I put it to a work associate once, that’s why God makes them in all sizes and shapes. If everyone looked the same it would be so boring. Honestly I think that very neatly explains racial fetishes. Often we are naturally drawn to what we perceive as exotic. My exotic may be very different than the next guy’s exotic. From that standpoint alone how terrible would it be if everyone looked alike! How does all this relate to Holland and his website? Deep down inside I think he just wants to fuck his own mom.

Body hair specifically. I know that some women like a hairy man. I know that there are a few men out there that like some hair on a woman. Penny doesn’t like overly hairy men and I like a woman to have no hair growing below her nose. Fortunately for both of us we are not very hairy people. I have minimal chest hair and my leg hair kind of tapers off around mid-thigh. There are a few things that I can think of that represent major improvements in our sex life. Hair removal may not be at the top of the list but it’s up there.

There was a point in time that Penny and I both had plenty of untouched bush down below. I asked her one day if she’d ever thought about shaving. She said that she hadn’t really thought about it but it seemed like a lot of work. I asked her if she would shave if I did. She must have thought that I was bluffing when she agreed because she seemed shocked when I presented her with my well shaven cock. She seemed amused and did keep her end of the deal. We discovered how incredibly wonderful hairless sex is. Licking and sucking a hairless pussy is heavenly. I never realized how much I hated long hairs getting between her and me. They were a nuisance and kept me from feeling her fully. For some reason we didn’t maintain our hair-free state at the time and it grew back with much itchiness. That was not pleasant to say the least.

For years after that we didn’t bother to do anything about pubic hair but one day we started clipping it short. Then one day in the shower after she shaved her legs she took her razor and shaved herself clean. I was fascinated. She found that as long as she maintained it it didn’t get itchy. I loved to watch her shave her pussy. I think it was because it was such a novelty. At some point we read on one of the more civilian blogs that we follow about using a depilatory. So out we went and got a bottle of Veet. We found that Veet and Nair work pretty well in sensitive areas but will leave burns every so often. Penny started tweezing her bikini line and eventually bought a Braun epilator. The little German-made Braun has 40 articulated tweezers on its rotating head and it knows its job! It doesn’t hurt like I was afraid it would but it’s still not exactly a picnic to use either.

She basically uses the epilator everywhere below her nose. I’ve been trying to use it between my legs but she got a good head start on me with her manual tweezing. Frankly I don’t care if I never have pubic hair again. With the way my body hair grows it actually looks more natural for me to be without. At this point I can’t imagine turning back. The hairless look is so beautiful to me and the sensitivity is unmatched. Penetration feels deeper and wetter with more flesh and less… …well, hair. It’s kind of like sex uncensored if that makes any sense. When I go down on her instead of producing a soaking wet mop, her juices are free to run over my face and I can feel and taste every little peak and fold of her clit without having to manually part the hair. When she sucks my cock there’s no barrier to keep me from feeling her lips and tongue as they explore my cock and scrotum. Plus when I look at her naked I like to see her pussy instead of bush.

To any of you out there that have not gone hairless I will highly recommend it. I’d also recommend starting slowly. If you take an epilator to a full bush you are likely to injure yourself! But the payoff is well worth the effort.