In 2011, I resolve to try something new. New toy, new position, something. Do you have suggestions? I promise to tell you about it.
Do you have any sexy resolutions?
It’s always nice to have a day with no work commitments and the offspring enjoying time at the grandparents’ place.
And so we had a regular night in. Rented a movie and ordered a pizza. Ah the excited life of married folks!
Expecting nothing of note, we headed to bed. Sure, we’d enjoy our carnal pleasures before snuggling down to the warm rest in the after glow.
Instead, our conversation turned to giggling and then licking and before you know it, our heads were in each others nether regions for an enthusiastic 69. Mmm. Never underestimate the value of small talk before bed.
And then, never neglect the opportunities that morning provides. You’ve got to do something with that morning wood after all.
What a delicious way to end 2010. I look forward to the many adventures 2011 has in store.
The reason that we as people are so fascinated by porn is that we like to escape reality into fantasy one in a while. This is seriously the only reason I can think that anybody actually likes porn. Unless I’ve just seen bad porn, they only really stick to one or two formulas and they fill in all the details with the same stuff over and over and over again. And while on-screen sex can be a novel diversion, it wears thin very quickly. To that end, I don’t understand why people have collections of the stuff or why people get addicted to it. The actors and models are plucked and stuffed and sucked and tanned and oiled, and that all takes place before they get in front of the camera. I don’t find them attractive. The scenarios are uncreative and the sex is canned at best. They bend over backwards to cover all the bases to appeal to the widest possible demographic, and lose much of what makes it interesting in the process. In all fairness, as a personality type I’m less a watcher and more of a doer – in bed, in competition, sports, art, etc. And yes, all above puns are fully intentional.
This is why I like fantasy role playing. I find that Penny and I are far more creative, sexy, and attractive than anything we’ve seen on screen, even on our least ‘into it’ days. I see no problem with a married couple getting lost in a fantasy for a little while. Heck, I’d highly recommend and encourage it! There’s nothing quite like pretending that my wife is some unknown stranger and that I’m a different guy who comes into her life in an odd circumstance. I love it when I say to Penny, “Why don’t you go put on that little thing and we’ll pretend that you’re a such-and-such and I’m this guy and we meet in this random setting.” It’s like a sexy game of charades where we both win in the end with an intense, wet orgasm. It’s hard to fathom a better prize.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy Penelope for who she is – quite the opposite in fact. I very much get off on seeing the direction that she takes a character. I don’t think it would be nearly as fun for me if she was anybody else. I know her well enough at this point that I can usually guess the general direction that she’s going to go, but only to a certain point. She quite often surprises me with the details. The predictability is sexy because it’s not monotonous, but is a reminder of the chemistry I still have with her. Every once in a while, she goes way out in left field, and that’s hot too. It reminds me that she is not tame, and even after so many years together, I still can only know her so well. Fantasy role playing pulls you out of the routine of daily life, out of your comfort zone, and reminds you that your spouse is a wild, sexy mystery. I can think of little else that is more healthy for an aging couple.
If you have never tried role playing with your spouse, you should. Sexy costumes can be fun, but they aren’t necessary. Don’t be afraid to make it dirty – it’s a fantasy after all. Don’t feel like you have to get too far out of your comfort zone in order for it to ‘count’ though. You can start at home or elsewhere. It’s probably best to discuss the general scenario with your spouse prior to play, and lay down any boundaries you don’t want to cross. Playing the maid and another house employee at a wealthy estate may seem contrived, but it makes for some very sexy adventures. Acting as though you are two strangers that unwittingly got locked into a room together or trapped in a resort cabin covered in snow plays out for some exciting warmth generation (you know, for the sake of survival and all). Something that the two of us have talked about but not actually tried is for one of us to ‘pick up’ the other at a bar. As in literally, arrive at a bar separately and leave together as imaginary strangers for a night of passion. That sounds like a lot of fun. Pretend that you are two superheros that have picked the same stake-out point to nab a villain and your ensuing scuffle for turf turns passionate. I know that last one seems just silly, but think about it. It could be fun. Of course, these are just a few suggestions.
The imagination truly is the only limit. And, I believe that the average sexual partner is far more creative than the people who write, direct, and act in porn. I know that Penny and I are! Plus, it’s a great opportunity to experiment with methods and techniques that you might normally not feel comfortable trying. When you are role playing you aren’t you after all! I would add a caution to not make your characters after real life individuals. Be generally someone else instead of someone else specifically. It pushes the creativity envelope without risking feelings of jealousy. Pick fictional names and make up a simple back story, either before hand or on the fly. Above all, have fun with it. If you try it a few times and it doesn’t work right, maybe it’s not for you. Hey, porn is a multi-billion dollar industry, and I started this post by saying that it’s pointless!
The touch that lingers a few seconds longer. The smoldering gaze. Soft kisses planted just below ear lobes. Those special phrases said in public that no one but you and your lover understand.
And sometimes more when the opportunity presents itself. It’s the perpetual foreplay that keeps things spicy. Even Psychology Today agrees.
Simmering: A two minute technique for nourishing the erotic bond between partners. Useful for modern couples for whom the idea of leisure time is a quaint memory, but who’d like to stay in touch.
Sometimes you can slip into a back bedroom at a family gathering. The holidays often present many opportunities. Often not enough time for the stolen quickie, but plenty of time to turn your simmer up a few degrees.
This Chrismas, Clint and I stole away to a bedroom while everyone else was busy with new presents, food, and general merry making. With children, parents, and siblings occupied around the fireplace, we decided to make a little heat of our own.
Quietly latching the door, we knew we’d be missed if we disappeared for long, we kissed deeply. I unfastened my jeans and pulled them just to the swell of my hips. Clint wrapped his hands around my waist and took a quick lick just at the right spot.
My simmer spiked to a boil. Delicious promises of the buffet to come.
With renewed spark, we rejoined the family merriment reveling in our little sexy secret.
Steal every moment. Linger on that kiss before leaving for the workday. Pull your hips in a little tighter with that hug. You’ve got the time to simmer long before bursting into hot passion later once the kids have gone to sleep. It’s worth it.
Penny and I tend to not ‘talk dirty.’ It’s something that I usually regret, because I find it very sexy. It just seems like if we want to talk dirty to each other, things get awkward rather than sexy. I love it when Penny uses crass words to describe anatomy and intercourse, but I think it makes her feel funny to talk that way. I wonder if other couples experience the same thing. I would imagine that dirty talk is something that just comes naturally to some people. I also wonder if it’s as much fun to those people that can do it so naturally. It’s not a thing that we can force, but sometimes we will wind up not talking dirty so much as talking sexy to each other. One night, Penny and I were laying in bed, in the afterglow of a great romp. I started telling her how I liked sex with her.
“We have a lot of fun together,” I mused.
Penny responded, “We do.”
“I love it when you get all warm and wet,” I continued, “and I get so erect it feels like it’s going to pop.”
There was a moment of silence that followed.
“And, I love it when we get the deep penetration and I can feel the tightness of your muscles around my shaft, and your cervix is just gently kissing my head at the end of each thrust. That’s really great.”
That night, I didn’t really expect a second round, but I noticed that her breathing had quickened. I had another erection at that point, and I could smell the sweet musk from between her legs.
“Are you thinking what I am?” Penny asked.
I crawled on top of her and we made love again. The second time was better than the first that night. Suffice it to say, we slept well that night. We were both pretty well spent.
To voyeurs and other curious types. My husband, Clint, has already introduced himself so I figured I should do so as well. I’m Penelope, but you can call me Penny. I’d love to tell you what to expect from this little collection of finely formed pixels, but honestly I’m not sure I know myself. It should range from fantasy to reality to dreams and adventures. I hope it’s sexy. Otherwise, we are missing the point. Just the idea of getting started with this has made things more sexy around the house anyway.
As Clint already mentioned, we’ve been happily married for over a decade. Friends seek our advice often for how to be that way. A big part of that, is paying special attention to your sexuality. Married sex doesn’t have to be boring and mundane (or even worse, non-existent). But it can be difficult to talk openly about that in Sunday school or over cocktails with friends. I hope this can be a place where we can answer some of the questions you never felt comfortable asking and give you a window into the lives of sexually active parents that still want to get their freak on. Neither of us are therapists, so understand that everything we tell you here is based on our own experiences.
Now, lets have some fun!
Welcome to Married Freaks (the little sex blog that could). Call me Clint. My wife, Penelope and I have been together for over a decade now. Apparently we’ve done something right, as we are deeper in love now than we were when we got married. We have an intense and passionate relationship, and we love to experiment sexually. Neither of us have been the type to read sex blogs. We’ve watched some porno together both on and offline but never really been into the sex blogs. Not too long ago, we got turned on (heh) to Quizzical Pussy. She writes about doing stuff that I’m likely to never want to try, and yet she writes it in a way that seems reasonable enough. She can describe acts that might disgust me in a way that make them not. When I discovered her blog, I had to sit down and read it – all of it. Penny and I were inspired. We decided that we needed to write a sex blog of our own. So, here we are. You’ll hear from her before too long, and I will write my thoughts on sex, marriage, and relationships as well. I’ve got stories that I want to share, and I’d love an audience to share them to. I’m not likely to share any over-the-top shocking stuff, but we certainly aren’t the most tame couple out there either. This should be fun for all of us.