Married Freaks

No really, science says so. Semen is apparently full of all sorts of happy hormones. Yeah baby.

You know, because sex isn’t fun enough with all the adventure and stroking and cuddling and rubbing and general hotness. We get our anti-depressants too! Sorry boys, I guess we’re just using you for your chemicals.

Or maybe not. The ladies I know getting with other ladies are having a fine time. And those that are practicing safer sex are not drowning in the pits of depression.

Or maybe this is just a super secret special benefit I can hold over them in my happy anti-baby pill taking monogamy… Yeah, that’s right, we don’t use condoms in the married freaks household. Since it’s just us and we’re confirmed clean, we don’t have to. I take a pill because we’re done with babies. Or at least we’re pretty sure which is why we haven’t made a surgical decision. And the whole skip the placebo and don’t get a visit from Aunt Flo is pretty nice too.

Not really though. We do our sexy time our way, you do it yours. This is not a place of judgement and I’d never hold anything over anyone’s head other than in jest. There is far too much judgement where sexuality is concerned anyway. If everyone involved is happy and feels the whole experience is a positive, well just get down with your hot and freaky selves. We’re kind of sticking our toes into the freaky water and testing it all out. And even if we only ever get into the kiddie pool, we’re totally cool with the people doing some kind of back-flip-double-twist off the high dive.

And now that I’ve lost my train of thought. Oh right! Sex makes us happy! And it took science to tell us that. Golly gee thanks science. Never would have figured that out on our own. It’s not like we’ve been having sex for as long as people have existed or anything.

I think it’s great and all that semen has happy hormones in it, but it’s really no more than a side benefit. The emotional intimacy that happens with sex is something I believe that all the scientific minds in the world will never really define. That moment where another person is so enthralled by the person you are that they want to experience that in an intimate way is more euphoric than any hormone. Reducing it that way cheapens the magic. Even just the raw get your base desires satisfied sex is intimate. Perhaps more so than the full on snuggle special romance novel worthy love making sessions, sometimes anyway. That moment where you want me and I want you is magic. The consummation of that moment is divine.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that sex is fun and a wonderful bonding experience. At least for monogamous relationships, we’ve got some scientific confirmation. But we also know that runners get high off of the adrenaline their own bodies produce. My take away here is that sex that makes you feel good is good for you. If it was all about the happy hormones, it wouldn’t be worth it. (Makes me wonder if anyone has done research on the euphoria of masturbation.) Although interesting, trying to figure out why we like sex is an exercise in futility. We do. That is just a given. May as well try to figure out why a large percentage of women like chocolate. We just do. (It’s not the caffeine or the sugar because I can easily give up both.) But not all of us do. You can’t give a one size fits all definition and that’s part of what makes us all so very delectable. I really love very manly men, but I am fascinated by ladies that love straight male cross-dressers. I don’t get it, but it’s fantastic. I’m not a big fan of body hair, but some ladies love the hairy men. So many flavors in the sexual smorgasbord.

I think the science is over simplifying sex. It is a far more dynamic thing. Sure, there probably are specific benefits, but that is certainly not all of the story. If you want my advice, it’s this:
Do what fulfills you. Do what enriches you. I cannot define what that looks like nor can I judge it.