The reason that we as people are so fascinated by porn is that we like to escape reality into fantasy one in a while. This is seriously the only reason I can think that anybody actually likes porn. Unless I’ve just seen bad porn, they only really stick to one or two formulas and they fill in all the details with the same stuff over and over and over again. And while on-screen sex can be a novel diversion, it wears thin very quickly. To that end, I don’t understand why people have collections of the stuff or why people get addicted to it. The actors and models are plucked and stuffed and sucked and tanned and oiled, and that all takes place before they get in front of the camera. I don’t find them attractive. The scenarios are uncreative and the sex is canned at best. They bend over backwards to cover all the bases to appeal to the widest possible demographic, and lose much of what makes it interesting in the process. In all fairness, as a personality type I’m less a watcher and more of a doer – in bed, in competition, sports, art, etc. And yes, all above puns are fully intentional.
This is why I like fantasy role playing. I find that Penny and I are far more creative, sexy, and attractive than anything we’ve seen on screen, even on our least ‘into it’ days. I see no problem with a married couple getting lost in a fantasy for a little while. Heck, I’d highly recommend and encourage it! There’s nothing quite like pretending that my wife is some unknown stranger and that I’m a different guy who comes into her life in an odd circumstance. I love it when I say to Penny, “Why don’t you go put on that little thing and we’ll pretend that you’re a such-and-such and I’m this guy and we meet in this random setting.” It’s like a sexy game of charades where we both win in the end with an intense, wet orgasm. It’s hard to fathom a better prize.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy Penelope for who she is – quite the opposite in fact. I very much get off on seeing the direction that she takes a character. I don’t think it would be nearly as fun for me if she was anybody else. I know her well enough at this point that I can usually guess the general direction that she’s going to go, but only to a certain point. She quite often surprises me with the details. The predictability is sexy because it’s not monotonous, but is a reminder of the chemistry I still have with her. Every once in a while, she goes way out in left field, and that’s hot too. It reminds me that she is not tame, and even after so many years together, I still can only know her so well. Fantasy role playing pulls you out of the routine of daily life, out of your comfort zone, and reminds you that your spouse is a wild, sexy mystery. I can think of little else that is more healthy for an aging couple.
If you have never tried role playing with your spouse, you should. Sexy costumes can be fun, but they aren’t necessary. Don’t be afraid to make it dirty – it’s a fantasy after all. Don’t feel like you have to get too far out of your comfort zone in order for it to ‘count’ though. You can start at home or elsewhere. It’s probably best to discuss the general scenario with your spouse prior to play, and lay down any boundaries you don’t want to cross. Playing the maid and another house employee at a wealthy estate may seem contrived, but it makes for some very sexy adventures. Acting as though you are two strangers that unwittingly got locked into a room together or trapped in a resort cabin covered in snow plays out for some exciting warmth generation (you know, for the sake of survival and all). Something that the two of us have talked about but not actually tried is for one of us to ‘pick up’ the other at a bar. As in literally, arrive at a bar separately and leave together as imaginary strangers for a night of passion. That sounds like a lot of fun. Pretend that you are two superheros that have picked the same stake-out point to nab a villain and your ensuing scuffle for turf turns passionate. I know that last one seems just silly, but think about it. It could be fun. Of course, these are just a few suggestions.
The imagination truly is the only limit. And, I believe that the average sexual partner is far more creative than the people who write, direct, and act in porn. I know that Penny and I are! Plus, it’s a great opportunity to experiment with methods and techniques that you might normally not feel comfortable trying. When you are role playing you aren’t you after all! I would add a caution to not make your characters after real life individuals. Be generally someone else instead of someone else specifically. It pushes the creativity envelope without risking feelings of jealousy. Pick fictional names and make up a simple back story, either before hand or on the fly. Above all, have fun with it. If you try it a few times and it doesn’t work right, maybe it’s not for you. Hey, porn is a multi-billion dollar industry, and I started this post by saying that it’s pointless!